


if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side

by drottkvaett



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Molly's Backstory, Nightmares, possibly another chapter or two coming, rating is for description of the nightmare, this isn't necessarily shippy though that might change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 10:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15604803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drottkvaett/pseuds/drottkvaett
Summary: The past haunts Molly and Caleb, but they help each other through the worst of it.Alternate title: someone hug both of these bastards





	if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side

**Author's Note:**

> title is from swinging party by lorde
> 
> comments are my bread and butter, the whipped cream on my snoothie, my jester and nott ransacking the temple of the platinum dragon

Molly's eyes open, only to be met with darkness and dirt. He blinks and lifts a hand to rub his eye, but he doesn't. His hand is pressed at his side, surrounded on all sides by wet soil. His lungs start to burn.

He is drowning. Again. 

His body forces him to try to inhale and he swallows mud in place of air. His throat is filled with earth, cold and wet. He can feel the grit scraping his throat and swallows panic welling inside him. 

His fingers claw at the dirt and his lungs strain and ache and Molly is going to drown in this heavy darkness. He doesn't know which way is up and claws at the dirt frantically. His nails tear and break and his chest heaves in the motions of breathing without drawing in air. 

He is desperately scrabbling toward what he can only hope is air. The sheer weight of soil on his body makes his ribs throb. 

He screams soundlessly until his throat is raw.  
\----  
Molly jolts awake, completely drenched in sweat and shaking. He gulps in air and sits up to wildly look around for a long time before collapsing again. Afterward, he doesn't move for a long time. A tear starts to flow down his cheeks and he angrily wipes it away as another one starts to well up in his other eye. His chest is still heaving and he clutches the sheets that lie in piles around him. 

The Mighty Nein are at an inn in some small town; he doesn't remember the name of the town, isn't sure if it even has a name. The town is that small.

Molly is trying to catch his breath and still his shaking hands when he hears a rustle from the bed across the room. 

Right. 

They had rented three rooms, as usual, but Jester had thrown a wrench into their usual sleeping arrangements by carrying Fjord up the stairs bridal style after he’d kissed her gently in the tavern below. Yasha had gone away again, so Beau and Nott were having a girls’ night in what had originally been Beau and Jester’s room. That left Caleb and Molly to share a room. 

Molly is still gasping and trying not to break down and cry when he hears Caleb cross the room to Molly. He resolutely does not acknowledge the presence in front of him, still does nothing when Caleb cautiously climbs into the bed next to him. Caleb scoots toward him ever so carefully and slowly and that's where Molly’s resolve to not react crumbles. Caleb isn't even touching him, but Molly can still feel the heat radiating off him and he instinctually leans into Caleb to warm his shivering body and counteract the lingering feeling of cold wet dirt on his skin and in his throat and nostrils. Caleb freezes for a long moment before he relaxes and wraps an arm around Molly. 

At Caleb’s touch, Molly just breaks. He sobs and buries his head in Caleb’s chest until his shirt is wet with tears. Caleb doesn't say a word, just holds him tight. 

When Molly stops crying, his eyes and throat ache and he wraps an arm around Caleb’s back. He can feel Caleb’s shoulderblades rise and fall under his fingertips. Caleb is still bony and skinny, but he's improved since he joined the Mighty Nein. Molly makes a sleepy mental note to buy Jester more pastries the next time he has time to go shopping.

He realizes he’s absolutely exhausted from the long day of traveling and from crying and that Caleb is very warm and smells good. He's not quite sure what the scent is, but he doesn't really care. It's relaxing. He falls into the best sleep he’s had in maybe months. As he's drifting away, he thinks he hears Caleb murmur something into his hair in Zemnian, but he's too far gone to really process it. 

Molly wakes to the morning sun peeking in their window. Caleb is gone, and instead, Frumpkin is curled up around him. He crosses to the wash basin in the corner and washes off his torso and face. That’ll do until he has a proper bath, when they get back in Zadash.

When he heads downstairs to eat breakfast, the only people in the tavern are Caleb, Nott, and Fjord.

Fjord is wearing a scarf, but Molly can see a dark hickey peeking out just under his ear. He saunters over to the table and pokes it. Fjord turns a dark shade of green and slaps Molly’s hand off his neck before pulling his scarf up. 

“As I was sayin.’” He pointedly stares at Molly. “We’re about two days from Zadash. We're not due back to the Gentleman for a week at least, so I say we take it easy for a bit, yeah? No more ridin’ all day; we can slow down.”

As he's talking, Molly pulls a chair up to the table between Caleb and Nott. Nott gives him what could have been a sidelong glance, but it's gone before he can really get a look at her. She runs a hand over her hair. It's braided, not quite neatly, but looks charming in its messiness. He says so and Nott beams at him. “Beau did it,” she says. 

“I’ll have to ask her to do mine sometime,” he replies. 

“Can- um, can I do it?” Nott asks him, nervousness hinting in her voice. “Beau taught me last night.” 

He’s taken aback. “By all means, I suppose.” He’s not very involved in the conversation. Besides. Jester has just skipped down the stairs and he's not particularly eager to continue to watch Fjord stare sloppily at her. 

“I think you'll have to sit on the ground.” Molly sees that she's sitting on two of Caleb’s books, which raise her to a height where she can just barely see over the table. He obliges and plops himself on the ground in front of his chair and crosses his legs with his back to Nott. She starts combing through his messy hair with her small fingers and Molly closes his eyes. 

When he opens them again, Nott has gathered his hair into sections and started braiding down the top of his head, and Caleb is watching them. Molly feels his cheeks go hot and he’s glad that his skin doesn't show blushes easily. He doesn't know how to address last night. Does he thank Caleb? Does he say nothing? There doesn't seem to be a situation that won't be uncomfortable for Caleb and he doesn't want to make him uncomfortable after what he’d done for Molly, and oh gods he's staring. 

The gods must be feeling charitable toward Molly today because Beau tromps down the stairs before the silence stretches on too long. She sees Nott braiding Molly’s hair and cracks a smile, unusual for her this early in the morning. “Already practicing, huh?” Nott nods and goes back to weaving through Molly’s hair. She’s about halfway through and directs him to look down. 

Caleb is still watching them and Molly closes his eyes, both to avoid the awkward eye contact and to soak in the sensation of Nott working through his hair. Molly adores having his hair played with and he zones out until claws prick into his thighs and he yelps. After a moment, Frumpkin settling down in his lap and Molly runs his fingers absently through soft fey fur. He gives Caleb a stealthy look and Caleb’s brow is furrowed like he’s concentrating but a wry smile is sneaking onto his face. In truth, he looks happier than Molly’s seen him in a long time.

In time, Nott finishes the braid and ties it off with a piece of string she procured somehow. 

The Nein head out.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on tumblr @cryptocosmology


End file.
